Stuck in them twenty-somethings, stuck in them twenty-somethings
Good luck on them twenty-somethings, good luck on them twenty-somethings
- Sza “20 Something”
There is something funny about aging, a sort of paradoxical process where everyone wants to be either older or younger. From Sephora middle-schoolers to serum moms, there has been a shift in the removal of adolescence and everything that comes with it, acne, awkwardness, and all. A commenter on Mina Le’s video: third places, stanley cup mania, and the epidemic of loneliness (linked below) writes:
Ten year olds are in sephora cause they have nowhere to go. We have removed that awkward in-between phase of life, so you're supposed to go from 12 to 21 overnight. The beginnings of this manifested a few years ago
As someone who got into makeup and skincare really early on, I was originally indifferent to the rise of girls trying to become women right away, because I was once that, and am still that. In Madison Huizinga’s essay: Have Kids Always Grown Up This Fast?, she delves into the blurred lines between the phases of life, how defining certain age groups becomes more and more complicated, and if the “twenty something teen” is a state of perpetual infantilization or not.
As mentioned above in the YouTube comment, we often think that the commodification of age is a recent dilemma, due to the introduction of modern technology. I do agree that social media is a huge contributing factor to this phenomenon, but whether it is to blame needs to be explored.
2023 saw a surge in everything nostalgic and filled with childhood whimsy. Coquette came in full force, and we are still feeling the repercussions of Lana Del Rey’s “Let The Light In” bridge synced to videos of pink and bows galore. This “girlification” seeped into food (“girl dinner”), fashion, beauty, (the aforementioned “Sephora tween”), and discourse. I plan to get more into the historical meanings of coquette in another essay, so hold tight for that one.
The “clean girl aesthetic” stressed organization and routine as forms of self-care by pushing independence, but ultimately ended up encouraging conformity to the patriarchal, hegemonic society through hiding the costs of the lifestyle. What is interesting though, is that people are starting to pull away from childhood and beginning to become transfixed on reclaiming or solidifying adulthood. From Jojo Siwa’s rebrand to the “rockstar’s girlfriend” trend, we have to ask ourselves what “age appropriate” is, and how to define it. These iterations and trends romanticize and often disregard the nuances of aging, and refuse to acknowledge the complexities of growing up.
A big theme on Substack in the past few months has been chronicling the struggles of adulthood, and all the messy things that have to be worked through. I feel the same, having being laid off recently and trying to balance responsibilities and school. There is nothing wrong with wanting to wear pink or bows, or having the inescapable itch for the future. Not wanting to face being an “adult” is totally understandable.
Think about it, when you hear the word “girlhood” what are the first associations that come to mind?
When you hear “womanhood” what comes up instead?
To me, womanhood conjures up feelings of establishment, strength, pain, childbirth, puberty, and stability. Womanhood is a force to be reckoned with, and often isn’t pretty.
Girlhood, on the other hand, is calming, an ethereal evocation of playing in the woods by the house, the colour of my childhood bedroom (turquoise was my canon event), and having nothing to worry about.
With that, the escapism that reminiscing gives us is something that we search for, something that takes away the “growing pains” of adulthood.
Today is my birthday, and this morning I texted my friends “I am no longer a teenage girl, I feel sick.” That is true, because I really did feel sick to my stomach. These sentiments echo in an online space, with the “everlasting teenage girl” on Twitter, and the countless reels and tiktoks of “girlism”. (New drinking game: see how many times I say “girl” in this piece 😭 - for legal reasons this is a joke.)
On the bus with my broken headphones in, I look out the window. The sun streams through the windows, and “Wherever You Go” by Beach House plays in my ears.
Suddenly, I realize the weight of silently parting with my childhood, though not leaving her behind, I’m releasing her from the hold she has on me. Like a child accidentally letting go of a balloon, I gaze at her drifting away, desperately reaching for the string but knowing there is nothing I can do. For once, I do not cry, but instead gently accept the fact that time does not stop, and life goes on.
In facing my 20’s with gratification, instead of with fear, grappling with the reins instead of just holding onto them, I am faced with the fact that “adulting” (as coined by the Millennials) is nothing to be afraid of, and that the tapestry is just getting started. There is a sweetness, a softness, and a comfortability with entering a new decade,
I no longer feel unease anymore.
God bless these twenty-somethings.
Authors Note: Thank you for reading! I know this post is mostly catered to a female identifying audience, so for a different take, see my thoughts from last year here:
Reading:
Listening:
Come and Play in the Milky Night - Stereolab
End of Beginning - Djo
Nothing Matters - The Last Dinner Party
Salad - Blondshell
Weird Fishes/ Arpeggi - Radiohead
Creating:
Made these eggs inspired by Turkish eggs and Mexican Huevos Rancheros!
Happy birthday 🩵 and thank you for writing
Happy birthday Honey, you’ve not let your girlhood go, she has not released her hand from yours, sometimes we cannot hear her but we are all still girls deep down it’s not something we can ever truly lose, only misplace during the awkwardness of growing up and fitting in, she will find you again. Here’s to a lovely new age and a lovely new path❤️